Tough one.

Sometimes life takes a lot out of you and you reach a crossroad without any sign boards thinking which way would not take to you to the wicked witch of the west.

I have reached that crossroad today. Luckily I do have the sign boards. It leads to two ways. One which says "career" and the other which says "married life responsibilities".

It's definately not difficult to merge these two roads into one. But, here in India, you can't because apparently you need to be a PHD to even be considered for a clerical position.

I have a 5 year experience with one of the most well renowned multi national companies in Dubai. But apparently, experience is just something in the mind. It's the IT graduates from IIT/IIM or the MBA passouts from various schools situated in some remote place of this country.

Now like I'm uneducated. I am a graduate. I'm just not an MBA or a PHD. Somehow, that's not enough here.

And I fail to comprehend why??!!! No wait.. I don't want to comprehend why!

Still changing..

We have changed. You think?

I strongly feel that our generation has made a difference to the general thinking in a lot of ways..

We don't really believe in racism. We all think that war is a waste of time. We think that it's okay to end a marraige if not working out. We believe that all religions have a place on this earth. We don't judge people very quickly now.

I say these things only and only in retrospect for our generation. The generation of today. The generation which is making a change to the soceity. The educated generation who at many points in life think that in many ways our parents might be wrong to think a certain way.

But are we really changing..???

Sure, we have welcomed technology into our lives. We have started opening our minds and thoughts to larger things and overlook many small and menial problems.

One thing where I really feel that we need to work on is how we treat the less fortunate people.

I live in Bombay, the financial capital of India. Over here,it's not like the other parts of this cultured country. You will find freedom for gays, make your own bold statement, to show without fear the influence of the western culture upon oneself. Things that are still alien in many parts of this place. However, knowingly or unknowingly, we still practice discrimination..amongst our own people..and it's sad.. no wait, its pathetic.

Servants, yup we still call them that and i hate it, are very common in each and every household. Unfortunately, the influence the British had on us whle the ruling period, we seemed to have treasured most of the negative points.

Why can't we treat our "Domestic help" ( and that's what I want to call it..!) thinking with the factor that they too are a human race and not someone we bought at the human trafficking trade fair?

They do our dirty jobs..Jobs that we leave the west and come back so that we have the advantage of someone washing our dishes/clothes, sweeping the floor, running around for our errnads. Yet we disrespect them in the most extreme way we can think of.

I have witnessed people, who still beliEve that they shouldn't eat untill we've eaten first, that they should sleep on a hard ground without a proper beddings when clearly they do all the hardwork , people..(and this i dislike the most) give them seperate crockery because they can't stand up to our level even in the food they eat. Their toilets are situated outside the house 'coz apparently their pee stinks..So what our smells of jasmine? People who believe that they should never have an opinion and should be at our beck and call 24/7. Oh and by the way, we pay them peanuts!

Honestly, I think we treat our dogs better. This is a disgrace to our behaviour. We should be ashamed to even say the word "servant" . Why can't we do something about this?
Why can't we behave like we are educated and not a target of a tradition that is been going on for generations.

We need to change. If we can accept changes like technology, infedility, transexuals, western influence, gay marraiges..and many more..then we can do this. That is if you want to.

Stop discriminationg people less fortunate. Treat them with respect and see a different soceity.

Abolish the word "Servant"!

If you still don't, then maybe you shouldn't be here in the first place.

This Place.

We all are the same ...aren't we?

Sure.. we may come from different countries, speak diffrent languages, come from various cultures, practice different religions..but here...in this place..we are the same.

Over here, no one's bad, no one's good. Over here, we are just what we are..ordinary people. We forget our problems at home, only to witness someone else's who aren't even real ,at times. We laugh with strangers, maybe sometimes cry together.But we are amongst those whom we don't know. Never met. But we still sit together. Together and in peace.

Over here for about a matter of hours, we enjoy each others company without bitching about anybody, without making small talk,without any judgement.

This takes us into a world where we can imagine being whoever we want to at that time..and nobody will know. Here, we can fall in love with the perfect partner. Here, we can fight the bad guys. Here, we can have a happy ending.This may just be the perfect world.

Here at the movies,in the hall, for about 3 hours..we understand each other..we are together...sitting quietly in harmony. Sharing joy and sorrow depicted by the characters who bring us together.

So...we are the same...aren't we?

Pathetic...

If someone had to ask me, "What was the most boring day of your life?"

"Today" would be my answer!

Annoying!

Don't get me wrong.. I love kids.. just the well-mannered ones.

I don't understand people who sit calmly when their kids are going around dropping things.. wiping chocolate covered hands on sofas..smacking people on their heads.and lots more!!!

I feel like beating them up...the parents.. and then the kids!

Random Thoughts- A short story

Neena curled up on her arm chair with the box. It's been long since she last went through its contents. There was dust residing on it now. It was one of her shoe boxes hidden away in the back of the wardrobe where no one would ever see it or imagine what would be in it.
She was alone at home. She had finished all her housework. Made sure all the clothes are washed, dried,ironed and arranged, just like how Neil liked it. Random thoughts, she called it, enveloped her mind which made her go back in time.

She removed the cover over the box. Everything inside was neatly arranged. She had done so each time after she was done reminiscing. There they were, pulling her into the past...for the last time.

Photographs which kept his face in her mind intact,Letters; some which made her smile and others which made her heart swell and caused a stream down her cheeks. There was a small teddy bear keychain, which he had won for her, shooting moving ducks at the summer fun fair.But her favourite was the pendent. The one which is a heart shaped and cracks in the middle and both the parties can keep each of it. She had the one which said "LO.." and he had kept the "..VE".

She thought of all the good times they had. She thought of all the petty fights they had too and smiled about them. But the truth also remained that he wasn't in her life now. It's been 3 years now,she thought, since we last saw each other.

It had been 2 days before she would be Mrs Bannerjee. He asked her to meet him at the same place they had first met. She left the home saying, she still needed some alterations on her sari blouse. Her cousins teased her that she used that as an excuse to probably meet Neil. Neena managed to smile. She couldn't help but feel fear,anxiety,excitement and confusion. She had to meet him one last time, she thought. She had already prepared herself to give Neil a chance to make her believe in love again. Till then, she had to go meet the man who introduced her to love altogether.

They met at the train station. The same place where they met for the first time 2 years ago where he walked up to her and inquired about the trains and their destinations. He was new to Bombay, he had said. Neena helped him and found out that he was on the same destination as hers. From then on, Neena waited for her new friend who was alien to her city to make him feel comfortable by travelling together. He later told her ,in due course of their relationship, that he had never set foot out of Bombay ever and his father was the station master and had spent most of his childhood at the stations and couldn't come up with a better excuse to talk to her. Neena had just blushed and was glad that he did so. In a month, they were inseperable and found love.

It had been a brief meeting at the chai stall, their rendezvous. All kinds of emotions were overwelhming that day.He had asked her to come away with him. She told him that she had to stay. He pleaded for a another chance. She smiled and said it was too late. After a defeated conversation, he had dropped her to her car where they had embraced in their last passionate kiss. They parted..with tears in their eyes and heavy hearts. No more questions were asked. No more answers were seeked.

Neena drove home in silence. She left her past behind but carried her memories along. This was the end of a chapter and two days later, she opened a new one.

But it was time to move on now. Neil had been nothing but patient with Neena. Neil had found her very secluded in the beginning but gave her time to adapt to the new place and was cooperative in every way. She slowly and willingly gave in to her present, and gradually fell in love...again. She could finally let go of the box. She wondered where he would be now? Did he get married? Was he happy? Did he still think of her the way she did? All these questions didn't matter now, she thought.

Neil had gone to Bangalore for work and was returning in an hour. Today, she was about to enter another chapter. She wasn't sure what was happening when she felt like sleeping all day,when she thought the food was smelling bad, when she found a new grown liking towards pickle. The doctor gave her the reports earlier that morning. She felt fear,anxiety,excitement and confusion. A collection of emotions ,she wasn't new to. This time, these emotions were all for the right reason.

Neena wanted to surprise Neil. She had planned to place the report in the drawer where he would normally come home and place his wallet and watch in. She already cooked his favourite dinner, cleaned and dressed up a bit for him. She still fit in her favourite dress..After all, it had been just 10 weeks. Still another month before it would start to show. She was watching the news when she had decided to get rid of her old memories. It was time to make new ones.

She finished going through the contents one last time. She stood up to dispose the box of the past. That's when she heard the "Breaking news".
" The flight AI706 Air India from Banglore to Mumbai disintergrated in mid-air, off the coast of Mumbai, killing all 326 passengers on board. The flight was only 30 minutes from the Mumbai Domestic Airport. Officials said that they don't know the cause of the crash but........."

There she stood...staring at the TV...numb and cold...with no thoughts in her mins...staring with her past in her hand and her present gone.